How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
