I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
