It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
