that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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