i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
