You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
