What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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