the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
