I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
