One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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