do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize