i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm too high and old for this...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
