A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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