I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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