just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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