I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
