I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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