Betty ford says i'm here all night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Randomize
