You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
