We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
