my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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