Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize