1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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