how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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