How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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