Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
