im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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