I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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