redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
