I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
