If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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