i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
