Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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