woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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