Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize