No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
