dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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