3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
