can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
