sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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