I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
