She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
