Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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