Its about making memories worth repressing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
