I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
