His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
