what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we're making bets on your personal life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
