its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
