I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
