I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
