Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
