After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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