Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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