My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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