I want to have your abortion
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
