idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
