I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
