I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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