Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
