We won't sleep together?
look no pants
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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