He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
