That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
