just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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